Positive communication as a tool to boost self-esteem

Dear Richa Ma’am,

This is Shanya Kulkarni I passed out from school in 2001. You had taught me in classes 9^th and 11^th, I hope you remember me. I am writing this letter today, as I received an award today. This award was for the most creative person in world of advertising. After receiving it, I sat reflecting on my journey called life.  I realized the significant role you have played in boosting my self esteem. I am writing this letter to thank you for all those efforts taken. Every word uttered positively has left a long lasting impression on me.

I remember being a shy and introvert girl in my school. I would always hesitate in talking with my teachers. My grades were always either average or even below at times. From my childhood I had been ridiculed at home and school for my grades. I would again and again hear statements like:

“You are lazy”,

“You don’t know anything” 

“You are a loser”

“When will you ever learn?”

These statements made me look at me very negatively. I would always feel worthless and good for nothing. All this happened with me before 9^th class.  But once I entered 9^th class and started learning from you, my whole outlook towards myself changed. Your unique talking style with all students was positive and highly motivating. There were some specific methods which would particularly impact me.

Naming us students respectfully

Never have I seen you talk to any student in a disrespectful way even slightly. Instead we would always be addressed as “Scholars”, “thinkers”, “Researchers”, “Readers” or simply 9^th graders. For you, these words may have been vocabulary used for capturing student’s interest. From a student’s perspectives they were a designation. These names made us feel that we are doing something important. These names gave us a feeling of identity. While creating the project on brochure making; we were called budding writers. It gave a tremendous boost to our self-esteem.

Finding Positive in all students

You always talked positive about all your students. I remember this incident when I had submitted my essay. It was below par and needed rewriting. The feedback shared was highly motivating. It said “vocabulary used is very interesting. Organization and structure is perfect.  Use more descriptive words and focus on topic. This would help readers connect to your writing”. After reading the feedback, I rewrote the essay and re-submitted it. This was the first instance, where I took initiative to improve my assignment. This is an incident from my life. All my classmates have something to share while reminiscing about our school lives (and you). This portrays your admirable ability to find positive in every student.

Creating a positive vision

A quality most cherished by me is your strategy to create a positive vision of our class. Ma’am! I actually use this method with my teams. Remember once when we completed specific class project, you praised by saying “The wonderful teamwork done has led directly to success of the play”. This particular statement would remain etched in my mind forever. What I felt after hearing this statement was “Wow! I was valuable and had made a significant contribution to something interesting”.

Using small little details in your speaking technique made me so confident. It was a boost for my self esteem. There is this incident which has left a mark in my mind. There were many simultaneous assignment submissions. We, as a class felt a need to get an extension on your submission. I somehow gathered courage and spoke about it. You agreed to extend the date, which was a relief. But what later motivated me were the words “great job of being sincere and honest, it needs immense courage”. I felt so ecstatic about my small little act. This gave a tremendous boost for my self confidence.

The above incidents from my life are an example of a strong fact. I have blossomed in my life due to your genuine concern and appreciation. Treating and respecting us as individuals has fostered a strong sense of confidence. The way you spoke to us gave us a sense of direction. It not only guided us in knowing our strengths but also focused on our weak areas.

It gives me immense pleasure today to dedicate this award to you. And say ‘Thank You’, from the core of my heart, for each and every step taken by you. All these actions have helped me shape my future and reach this position.

Thanking you

Shanya Kulkarni

---